If those four walls could talk

If those four walls could speak what would they say? This was the phrase that silenced my thoughts in the middle of listening to gospel music while on my way home. According to Google: the four walls phrase is used to keep a secret or to suffer unpleasant feelings, such as worry, extremely. Some events happened in our lives that robbed us of our voice from explaining the emotions we felt, it is dangerous when one has a storm within which he/she cannot quiet it.

See, those four walls did not build in one day, they were built each time we release the disappointment breath. Disappointment breath is the breath we released after holding it for a couple of seconds when we experienced unbearable pain, we hold our breath to pause that moment because we did not have the strength to process it at the time. Each time we experience disappointment, we release  disappointment breath that will lay another brick down to help build those walls, and they are strong not because you built them but because they are invisible, you cannot see or touch them.

 If my four walls could speak they would tell you how often I had cried, screamed, ran, hidden, beaten, killed and buried myself, and so on…, each time I released those breath filled with disappointment they know where to go. Through time it became my darkroom where no lights can get in, the problem with a darkroom is you can’t see anything, everything I had touched was destroyed, and I got used to the sound of knocking my feelings down and breaking my own heart.

If your four walls could speak what would they say?

Many of us have asked this question; how or what can break those four invisible walls I had built? Since I had knocked down many walls I had built, I wanted to share with you what I used and I believed this is the only tool that can knock down your walls too, the tool I used is an invisible chipping hammer (yes, you read it right 😁). Through time I learned I cannot destroy something with the same tools I had built and I also realize it requires a unique strength to destroy. I don't remember the exact day but I remember the moment when I heard a voice that caused me to be curious about where it came from, and I started to walk toward the sound I heard, after several steps, the walls prevent me from moving forward so I leaned toward those walls to hear the sound that moves me from the space I was once stood in, the more I listened to the sound the more focused I became, and the focus gave me the ability to clear the pathway to my soul and I heard the voice that said “it's time to be healed” and those words without interruption, they hit my soul like an Arrow hitting the target that is aimed for. It's time to be healed was my chipping hammer that helped me to break  down the walls which I had built. What is your chipping hammer God gave you to start to break your walls down? 

I don’t know what happened to me, but what I know for sure was those words gave me the strength i needed. And my heart repeated those words over and over until my mouth spoke those words out loud, the more I spoke those words the more focused I became, the more I focused, the more strength I got to access, it was with that strength I broke those walls one by one until there was enough space for me to crawl out of the darkroom to where light was, is, and forever will be.

I don’t know what your darkroom is, but what I can share with you is light is waiting for you to give you the healing your soul needs.